The Amazing Philosiphical Battle On Earth
by Trunten
Summary: The fight in Siberia(?) With Zechs and Heero, also starring everyone else! WARNING, Some unappropriate stuff sure to offend!


Gundan Wing-Battle Philosophy

**Heero vs. Zechs, Early on**

_The battle that takes place, on Earth when they go to fight the air and ground convoy_   
Zechs: Finally, I shall battle the gundam pilot!   
*Explosions all around*   
Duo: Yes I'll fight to help keep everyone alive! Please no one die on me!   
Trowa: Oh Heero, how I lust for your penis, or a man for that matter.   
Quatra: Ewwww Trowa you gaylord! You left your comm on! Sick Dude!   
Wuffe: Hah hah suckers, while your fighting I'm sitting here, enjoying a Bud and getting layed. Sayonara!   
Heero: I must fight, now lets get it on   
*Magnacs and Oz soldiers blowing up all around this intense dialogue,  
notice the philosophy and deep perspectives it holds!*   
Zechs: I'll kill you! But first, let's fight to see whose superior!   
Heero: Okay.*begins beating the shit out of the Tallgeese*   
Zechs: Is that all you got! Gundam Pilot! Gundam Pilot!   
*the fight changes, the Talgeese begins to beat up more on 01*   
Zechs: Hah hah hah, take that! Gundam! Pilot! Gundam!   
*the fight continues, it looks like Heero could lose* Zechs: Take this Gundam Pilot! Hah fool! Can you even hear me? HUH?   
Heero: *thinking: God, can't he shut up? He's so fucking annoying!*  
Hey Zechs, turn your comm off, it's distracting.   
Zechs: Yes, I shall turn it off, for that is what a true warrior must do! He must, turn his comm in a battle and fight giving his opponent no disadvantages so that it must be a fair fight for the true warrior, so that he can say he truly defeated the enemy, and is now, a true warrior! And I am a true warrior! Fight for honor! I am a true warr-   
Heero:Dammit! Just shup the fuck up! I'm trying to think!   
Zechs: Yes I will shut if off, for thats what a true warrior will do-   
Heero:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH   
*the Talgeese is indeed winning, The Zero flies back, exhaust coming from its wing like jets*   
Zechs: Battle is beautiful, your gundam looks like an angel, descending from the heavens, to strike woe in its enemies-   
Heero: Dammit! SHUT UP!*smashes the comm speaker in half*   
Lady Un: Gundams! Because I have such a stick up my ass that you wouldn't believe, I'm going to blow the colonies, unless you surrender! HA HA HA!   
Noin: You bitch! That's not Oz! Thats dishonorable!   
Lady Un: Ah Screw Oz, and while your at it, get me some fries, I'm hungry   
Noin: Oh come on, you don't man it do you?   
Lady Un: Shut bitch! *slaps her*Get me some fries already!   
Duo: No! More people will die if we continue, just like my hero, who I let down! NOOOOO!   
Trowa: It matters not, I shall get Heero, and then we shall have Gundam Sex! With our Gundams! And he shall lubricate my control panel and-   
Quatra: *puking*Sick! Stop it!   
Zechs: It matters not Heero, I am a true warrior and I shall continue fighting like most true warriors!We shall begin to-   
Heero: I don't know how your talking to me but shut up already!   
*explosions all around, the gundams are totally unfazed as more extra's are blown to smithereens*   
Zechs:fight like we our one, and prove who is the most, talented, experienced, benevolent, true, valorous, brave, and vital to battle, together we shall bring new meaning-   
Heero: I can take this shit anymore!AGH!*jumps out of his Gundam with the self-destruct mechanism* Yeah yeah, mission accomplished already!   
Dr.J: But wait Heero, I must make my speech, I must-   
Zechs: Circumference of this battlefield will yield us to greatness! We shall do great things! Together, we shall fight the best fight we can, and forever live in its glory! then we shall-   
Heero: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *self-destructs the gundam, sending him flying and his gundam is destroyed*   
Duo: NO! Another ones dead! No more shall my happy-at-all times attitude surface!NO!   
Trowa: Yes, his sweet heavenly body is mine! *picks the body up with the gundams hand* My gundams oil is simply bubbling in excitment~   
Quatra: Uh...Uh....Having..Heart Attack..metaphors too...deep...soul...body...such pain...*slumps to the ground*   
Zechs: So lets start a new era I say! one of valorous, true knights full of dignity and respect, one wear I can be a knight and a peace-loving brother! Together, we shall destroy all, and fight the good fight- Dammit, he's just a fucking kid, I was talking to a fucking kid? Dammit! But...he sounded..so manly wait, when was the last time I talked to him...Anywas before I was momentarily interrupted where was I>   
Dr. J: Damn! He was my best experiment, oh well, back to electrocuting monkeys!   
** And so the battle was glorius, and deeply metaphoric! This battle, shall be at an end for now! **


End file.
